On the road again

It's a strange time ahead. I mean, I've left home before, but never permanently, so when I do eventually pack my bags and leave here it's going to be a wrench. I really hate goodbyes, more than anything else, for sure. I mean, deaths, people leaving, whatever.
But, with this comes a new life. No longer in education after having done nothing but go through our education system for... all of my life, I'm free to do almost anything. There's a temptation to get a bit dramatic here, to prattle on about new responsibilities and a new chance to better myself, but in all honesty, I know that what I really want more than anything else is the right to never have to get dressed in more than a bathrobe and to sing tunelessly to my poor, abused mp3 player.
It's interesting to think back on how much people have changed over the years. I mean, I remember a lot about when I was a kid. From nursery school through to high school, I was apparently a genius, from high school to college I played a lot of bad music and had to sit through 5 years of penis jokes, college I... did absolutely NOTHING and got a qualification and now I'm here. 22 years and I've met more people than I would ever have dreamed of, learned more than I would ever have wanted to, forgotten even more than that and I've seen more of this world now than I ever dreamed existed. It's a little disturbing to think that after all that, if I were to talk to myself from 6 years ago I wouldn't even recognise myself, but it's true.
And so, with my childhood well and truly behind me, I may as well dispense some advice from my 22 years of experience with this whole 'life' thing. Plus, I really do like lists, even if they're harder than normal blog posts because I have to think about more points and can't just fill out a few paragraphs with lovely, mindless prattle.

You can ignore a lot of signs. I mean, if they're that important, you'll really know. Things like high voltage, those are important, but largely signs... apply more to other people.
Bad dietary choices are only bad dietary choices if someone sees you making them. I'm my own judge, now, and unfortunately I'm quite lenient on doling out guilt when I'm full of bacon.
If anyone ever tells you you're wasting your time (or even your life), I'd like to offer that if you're enjoying what you're doing at the time and not making yourself miss out on something that might be potentially more amusing, it's time fairly well spent. Maybe I shouldn't comment, now that I've come to realise that life's purpose is to entertain me, but I think that's still valid.
There are two solutions to every problem. Fire, or a complete lack of fire. And since those are so closely related, they're kind of one answer. You might have to get a bit abstract, but it will solve any problem.
Don't try to live without regrets. You'll spend so much time analysing your life to try to identify things you should have done or should be doing that you'll just feel worse. People make mistakes, it's getting over them that's the trick.
Don't trust anyone who looks really pleased to see you when they've never met you. They want your money. ALL of it.
There is such a thing as a free lunch. It's just a bit rare.
If you keep track of your finances, either do it properly or don't do it at all. If you half ass it and screw up the totals, you're worse off than before you started.
If you're alone, make the most of it. It's not something that happens an awful lot and you will rarely be in company that excuses you for playing air guitar at 2 in the morning.
Don't live every day as if it were your last, because that's a really depressing, desperate way to live. Coasting through a lazy Sunday every once in a while isn't a bad thing.
Learn your limits, then break them from time to time just to see if you can.
Work time is work time. If you must work from home, set a specific time to get things done, because there's very little that's worse than knowing that you're supposed to be off enjoying yourself, but you're actually doing some inane task or other. It's jarring.
Never do housework without music. Either sing, hum or just get a CD player or something.

And finally, if I've learned nothing else in life, don't be afraid to make mistakes. If you're scared of that, you'll never try anything new. I think that's hit home harder this year more than any other.

So, with that, a heavy heart and a head full of somewhat peculiar memories, it's time to bid farewell to Castleford and return to the city of my birth, sunny, unfriendly Leeds. G'bye, folks. I'll not be around for quite some time until my Internet comes back, although for the few of you that read this, you probably know that already.
Now that I'm going so close to the city, I may have to do something pretentious like buy an iPhone with a bluetooth earpiece. I think I could get away with that more if I didn't have a Yorkshire accent. Maybe I need to go down south for a while. See if I can't stop sounding a bit like a farmer who's trying to be sophisticated.

Given that it's a new life, I think I can be forgiven for breaking my convention with the blog tags, for once. It seems right, somehow.

Tomorrow's yesterday

Get a pot of coffee. From an uninspired evening came a single idea that evolved into a reasonable saga.
Also, it's still Tuesday somewhere, right?

I like notalgia. It's a strong thing. You see something on TV, you hear something, a sound, an overheard conversation, whatever. Something gets implanted in your head which sparks a powerful memory, usually something from your childhood, and before you know it you're wallowing in the murky waters of the past.
I tend to find that cartoons do it. It's amazing, but ever since college I haven't been able to find a better conversation starter, one that works with more kinds of people and that people can instantly relate to than 80s cartoons. Dungeons and dragons, Raggy dolls, Ulysses 31, Transformers, Thundercats... people particularly susceptible to the siren call of nostalgia will either start relating fond memories or singing the theme tune, those more resistant will still normally crack a smile or respond with an "Oh!".
I love it. I love how we're all united under the same banner, this meaningless pop culture cloud that links us all. It's a little sad that the majority of people identify so well with cartoons as opposed to, say, a really good book, but I think it's important that we all have something in common like that. It makes the world a little friendlier for a while.
However, there's a recent trend coming up. Well, I say coming, it's been here for the better part of the decade, I suppose. People are trying to rerelease all the best of the oldies, what with movies based on comic books, movies based on old cartoons (I'm looking at you, Tranformers and Alvin and the chipmunks) and such. Now this is alright, I can deal with that, but I can't get two things out of my head:

1. It feels like people are trying to sell us our memories, but with high definition and CG.
2. We don't have anything to pass to our children.

We had great stuff in our day. Decent music (arguably. I'm an 80s fan, though), good TV, some interesting books. It's a time of life that I'm downright proud to have come from and I'm not one for being patriotic toward any one place or concept. However, you get all these remakes released as new movies, what are the kids of the next generation going to think? Or kids raised in the 2050s? Say Transformers to a kid in the middle of this century (if we haven't blown ourselves up yet) and you'll either get a blank look or something along the lines of "I remember that movie. Didn't it have a Mountain Dew machine that turned into a robot?".
And then, despite our frail 70 year old bodies, we will have to beat them to death. While singing the Transformers theme.

I don't know what we will really leave behind. I'm not too fond of the things we've offered the world of entertainment this past 10 years. Movie sequels, teen comedies, at least 4 Scary Movies, endless club anthems (not including remixes of said club anthems and "Ft." singles), video game sequels, video game movie tie ins, video games about movie spin offs of games...
I wonder, with a world population of perhaps 6.7 billion (thanks wikipedia!) how long it'll take for all the original ideas in this world to end. As technology develops, we'll find new ways to use it, it's just that the arts, things like books and movies, I don't know if there isn't a finite amount of that. You can only tell so may stories. Music's tricky, you can listen to one song a few different ways and there's an infinite combination of notes out there (I'm not saying that they're all something you'd want to listen to, mind), but I worry that the movies of the next century will be remakes of old flicks, but changed to suit our new environment. Books can perhaps handle themselves. I've seen authors attempt the same story, but give it a completely different spin.
Or maybe the movie industry will end. There must be more material out there now than one person can reasonably view in a lifetime. Maybe the future will be an endless stream of reruns. Maybe cinema tickets will stop costing a fiver.
Nah...

Ha, that's a thought. Anyone ever published a book that was a number of authors telling the same short story but in a number of different styles and ways? I'm trying to think of how Little Red Riding Hood would read if written by Quentin Tarantino, Douglas Adams and Wilbur Smith.
Tell me that's not a good idea.

So yeah, in conclusion folks, in times of great social awkwardness, when nobody in the room can think of anything to say, when one of those awkward silences comes up, you need remember only one thing.

When little Eric eats a banana an amazing transformation occurs. Eric becomes Bananaman!
Da da-DAAAA! Da-DA da da da da da-DAAAA!
Oh mercy...