Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Surging forward

Busy days ahead. Had a lovely phonecall on Friday, now I have a job, but the few weeks I have before the start date will now be dedicated to making a very concentrated effort to get myself the hell out of Castleford once and for all.
Not that I don't like Cas, don't get me wrong. It's a lovely place if you go to the right areas, same as most other areas, but if you took out Xscape and Junction 32, I'm not honestly sure that there'd be any reason to come here. I... suppose we have a Burberry factory, if you're into that kind of thing.
Actually, they might just sell white trainers... no! No, I need to save money.

Ambition. It's a powerful force for something without any physical form. I think it might be one of those things that I can safely categorise under "emotions" and then kind of ignore, because while I can understand my computer, understanding people is sometimes next to impossible.
Seriously, humanity needs a manual. Or a... personual, for the PC generation.

*bu-dum psssch*

Ambition (and its good personal friend inspiration) is a funny thing. It drives people to conquer nations, build terrifying weapons and incite riots, but also to cure diseases, advance the total sum of human knowledge and invent new pasta sauces. I'd like to know if it's a product of your environment, though, or more something you're born with.
I mean, you get some people who are born into families who've built a huge personal fortune around hard work and good ideas, they've got masses of ambition around them all day, but some decide to live off of the success of everyone else. You get others that drag themselves up by their bootstraps from nothing to really do rather well for themselves. It seems like one of the few things where a positive environment has a negative effect (everything's fine, why should I bother to make an effort?) and a negative environment has a positive effect (I'm going to make some changes, here, I know it can be better). Well, kinda. It's hard to put into words, I suppose. That's why I favour wild, meaningless gestures; the confusion sort of conveys what I'm actually thinking at the time.
Ooh, a semicolon! I don't think I've ever used one of those before.
I like to think that really, people are born with a drive to do things. You can try to influence their development, yeah, make them keen on learning or sports or something and hope they'll make a solid career, but if being a student has taught me anything, it's that once people stop forcing you to learn, once you start having to make a career and a life for yourself, motivation starts to come a little easier.

It's a fickle thing, ambition. It's there when you need it sometimes, other times it goes away when you're desperate, or makes you really, really keen to get mundane things done. I know my own personal muse likes to operate through the medium of MMORPGs and 90s console games. I'm not surprised. I'd have been upset if my entire brain wasn't fairly dedicated to this whole geek lifestyle I've got going on.
I mean, I'd hate to think I'm repressing a large portion of my mind. It might get angry and rebel. There's already enough going through my head, I don't need any part of it to get angry and start shouting.
Metaphorically, at least.

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